i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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