he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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