Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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