Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
