smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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