im six kinds of drunk right now
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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