i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
