I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
