whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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