What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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