Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
