So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
