can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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