You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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