worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
