you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
