he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
