Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
