I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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