There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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