Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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