I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
