i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
