Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
