Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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