Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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