get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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