If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
