Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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