is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
