Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Panties = found
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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