Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
