Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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