I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
