you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
