Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
