There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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