babies were throwing up all over the place
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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