Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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