i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
