yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
two words...techno handjob
Did I show you my penis last night?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
