Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
