she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
