Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
