i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
