my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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