ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
