Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
