OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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