I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
