pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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