oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
